When to Let Go: The Sourdough Guide to Boundaries and Self-Worth

Dear Crumbheads,

Listen, if someone’s treating you like discard, it’s time to let them go. Not everything deserves a second rise.

Signs They’re Not Worth Your Dough:

• They flake faster than an underbaked croissant.
  
• They only show up when you’ve got something fresh out of the oven.
  
• They suck the joy out of your baking (and life).

What to Do Instead?

• Redirect your energy into perfecting your sourdough scoring.
  
• Name your next loaf after them—so at least one of you turns out well.
  
• Bake for the people who actually show up and appreciate you.

 Mr. Crusty’s Pro Tip:
Some relationships are like over-hydrated dough—too messy to handle. If someone’s making your life feel like a failed bake, toss ‘em and start fresh.

Mr. Crusty,

P.S. Your starter loves you more than they ever did. Feed it accordingly.