Crust Issues = Life Issues: How to Fix Both
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Dear Crumbheads,
Ever pulled a loaf out of the oven only to find it cracked, dry, and lifeless? Yeah, I see you. And before you say, "It’s just bread, Crusty!"—no, this is a metaphor for your life.
Cracked crust? You’re probably stressed.
Dehydrated dough? You’re not drinking enough water.
Collapsed structure? Overworked, under-rested, and on the brink of emotional souring.
Let’s get into it. Because fixing a loaf might just fix you, too.
1. Hydration Matters—For Dough and Humans
Cracked loaves happen because they’re thirsty. Just like you, staring at your phone at 2 AM, wondering why life feels like a stale baguette.
🔥 FIX IT:
- Your Dough: If your crust keeps splitting, your hydration is off. Sourdough needs at least 70-80% water to stay soft and flexible.
- Your Life: If your brain feels like an overbaked cracker, drink some damn water. Dehydration = crankiness, headaches, and bad decisions.
Moral of the story: If your dough is dry, add water. If your soul is dry, do the same.
2. Score With Intention—Cutting Right Saves the Rise
You ever made a sourdough loaf that looked perfect—until it baked? Then BOOM, it exploded in all the wrong places.
That’s because you didn’t score it properly. And let’s be real, some of you aren’t scoring your life properly either.
🔥 FIX IT:
- Your Dough: If you don’t control how steam escapes, it will find its own way out—and it won’t be pretty. A clean, deep score gives the loaf room to expand.
- Your Life: If you don’t set boundaries, stress will bust out at the worst possible moment. Be deliberate about where you release pressure.
Moral of the story: If you don’t make the right cuts, life (and your bread) will do it for you—and not in the way you want.
3. Steam = Success (You Need the Right Environment to Thrive)
A loaf baked without steam is hard, sad, and disappointing. Just like a person who never takes a break.
🔥 FIX IT:
- Your Dough: Steam slows down crust formation, allowing the loaf to expand and develop properly. No steam = tight, dense results.
- Your Life: Rest and recovery create space for growth, creativity, and better decisions.
Moral of the story: Take a break. Let yourself breathe. And for the love of gluten, stop baking under bad conditions.
4. Bulk Fermentation—Patience Makes Everything Better
You wouldn’t cut open a loaf mid-bake, right? So why are you rushing your own progress?
🔥 FIX IT:
- Your Dough: Under-fermented sourdough is dense and chewy. Over-fermented dough turns into a sticky, unworkable mess. The trick? Know when to wait and when to act.
- Your Life: Growth takes time. You can’t rush healing, learning, or a good rise.
Moral of the story: Be patient with your loaf. Be patient with yourself. Both will rise when the time is right.
Final Crusty Thoughts
Next time you pull a cracked, sad loaf out of the oven, take a step back.
Because chances are, it’s not just the bread that needs fixing.
✔️ Hydrate yourself.
✔️ Score with purpose.
✔️ Rest when needed.
✔️ Trust the process.
Sourdough (and life) is a long ferment. Don’t rush it. Let yourself rise.
With crusty love,
Mr. Crusty 🥖